The new Vicar was up early one Sunday morning...

The new Vicar was up early one Sunday morning, walking round his new parish, after leaving his wife in bed with the Sunday papers, her cup of tea, and a pack of cigarettes. One of the old villagers came up to him and said. "Good morning Vicar, how be you and the wife?" The Vicar said, "Good morning my man, I am fine, the wife is fine also as I left her in bed smoking." The villager said, "Arr, Vicar, that's the way to fuck 'em!"